The Holiday Potluck

santa elvisThe Holiday Potluck

It’s that time of year, folks. The season of Company Parties and The Holiday Potluck. Since I’m the daydreaming type, I imagined this conversation held by the water cooler by any number of organizations:

Supervisor:  “Let’s discuss the theme for our holiday party.”

Worker #1: “We could have a zombie apocalypse party and pretend we’re the clients.”

Worker #2: “We can have a redneck party and pretend we’re the clients.”

Worker #3:  “We can do a reality show party like “Breaking Bad” and pretend we’re the clients.”

Supervisor: “Look. If it weren’t for our clients than we wouldn’t have a job.”

Worker #4:  “Or grant funding and paychecks.”

Worker #5:  “Or health insurance.”

Worker #6:  “Or potluck theme parties.”

Worker #7: “Okay. I’ll bring the macaroni salad.”

Worker #8: “I’ll bring my favorite cardboard flavored gluten-free cookies.”

Worker #9: “I’m giving birth that day. I won’t be here.”

Supervisor: “You gave birth on last year’s holiday party day.”

Worker #9: “I have a resilient uterus.”

Worker #11: “Just like our clients.”

Worker #12:  “You can do your own reality show called, ‘Breaking Bad Placenta.’”

Worker #13: “Or ‘Breaking Bad Gas’.”

Supervisor: “Let’s have a reality show theme party for the holidays called, ‘Bad Santa’s’.”

Worker #14:  “Isn’t that politically incorrect?”

Supervisor: “There’s nothing political about it. Unless the Bad Santa’s emit bad gas.”

Worker: 14: “I’ll bring green jello.”

Worker #12:  “I’ll bring red velvet cake.”

Worker #9:  “I’ll bring my brother.”

Worker #7: “Family members are not allowed.”

Worker #9:  “My brother plays Santa in the Sleaze Strip Mall every year. I assure you, he’s pretty bad.”

Worker #6: “Bad as in badass, which is good, or bad as in smells bad and gets food in his beard which he picks off and eats?”

Worker #9:  “Bad as a Santa that is an Elvis impersonator. Please do not encourage him.”

Worker #2:  “Is he single?”

Worker #4:  “Kind of. If you count paying child support for two ex-wives.”

Supervisor: “I say we just dress up as our bad selves and bring red and green food.”

Worker #1: “Especially if it’s moldy from last year – like the food in our refrigerator upstairs next to Betty’s office. I think all the food in there is green.”

Worker #3:  “I’m turning green from this conversation.”

Worker #1:  “That’s perfect for a zombie apocalypse party!”

Worker #5:  “That sounds like my first husband. My whole marriage was a zombie apocalypse.”

Supervisor:  “So was the staff meeting last Tuesday.”

Worker #8: “Like my family reunions.”

Worker #4: “Like my bank account.”

Worker #1: “How can your bank account be like a zombie apocalypse?”

Worker #4: “My money has holes in it. It gets eaten up as soon as I get my paycheck.”

Supervisor: “Very funny. I say it’s time we end this meeting and go back to work. I believe we accomplished what we needed to.”

Worker #8: “Will the holiday party be in the conference room again? I think the mold was cleaned out of the crevices recently. I saw only one mouse there a month ago.”


Supervisor: “I say we bring our party to Worker #9 during hospital visiting hours.”

Worker: #3: “Bad placentas, here we come! Great name for a rock group!”

Worker: #6: “I’m middle aged. I gave my uterus to science long ago. Happy me and happy holidays, people!”


Be Sociable, Share!
Post Tagged with , , , ,
Latest Blog Post Latest Tweets Tags:
  • The Truth About Recycling
  • The Adventure Called Life – What a Hoot!
  • Conflicted Karaoke
  • A Senior Olympic Inspiration Despite the Truth of My Current Baby Boomer Athletic Status
  • The Daylight Savings Time of Aging – A sampling of “Boomer Haiku and More Random Silliness”
  • The Holiday Potluck
  • The Horticulture Lottery
  • Fish on!
  • Oh, Go Take a Hike! (I Actually Did!)
  • The Voice – A Tribute to Big Mitch
  • Weathering In Like a Lion, Out Like an Indecisive Lamb
  • baby boomers cannabis social potluck spring hair social media food Haiku humor breakups holiday relationships seniors Boomer pinkeye signs of stress head rolls prayer Poetry parenting humor teacher summer technology relationship humor microphones reality shows family dinners Millers Riverboat Service weather nature outside hiking mentor contests marketing exercise parenting martyrs Susan Boyle marijuana holiday stress salmon Britain's Got Talent blog Lindsey Lohan lice journal anxiety winter karaoke singing holidays success elvis fishing olympic games joints ballot measure #2 pot New Year's Resolutions family stress Charlo Greene parenting fall tribute parenting stress Thanksgiving dinner stress Guilt Christmas holiday stress