The Daylight Savings Time of Aging – A sampling of “Boomer Haiku and More Random Silliness”

imagesAging. If we could only have Aging Savings Time. Oh – I forgot-it’s called Botox and

plastic surgery. Nevertheless, it would be so nice if we could just keep the acquired wisdom of

the advancing years and stop the physical clock. However, if that happened, then there wouldn’t

be many aging jokes!

 

Single Boomer’s Daughter:  “OMG – I think Fred wants a commitment!”

Daughter’s Friend:  “How do you know?”

Single Boomer’s Daughter:  “He gave me the passcode to his IPhone!”

Single Boomer:  “Oh my goodness Betty, I think Bob is committed to me!”

Single Boomer’s Friend:  “How do you know?”

Single Boomer:  “He put me as a beneficiary on his retirement!”

 

I feel like fasting

Saw myself naked today

When did this happen?

Yoga Teacher:  “Now change your position to downward dog.”

Boomer Student:  “I think my dog just pooped in his pants.”

Yoga Teacher:  “Take your downward dog, lower yourself to a plank position.”

Boomer Student:  “I’d like to make you walk a plank.”

Yoga Teacher: “Back to downward dog.”

Boomer Student:  “My dog was neutered fifteen years ago, but still has its ovaries.”

Yoga Teacher:  “Rest in child’s pose.”

Boomer Student: “How about crying bones pose?”

 

Father Time has nowFermenting PicBookCoverImage

Begun to catch up with that

Bitch Mother Nature

Alaska Resident:  “Was that an earthquake?”

Alaskan Boomer:  “I think it was the lentil soup I ate last night.”

Tokyo Resident:  “Was that an earthquake?”

Tokyo Boomer:  “I think it was the pork shogayaki I had last night.”

Chili Resident: “Was that an earthquake?”

Chili Boomer:  “It was the spicy fruit salsa I had last night.”

Alaskan Boomer: “Anyone have an antacid?”

Alaskan Resident: “It’s called youth.”

When I work out I

really don’t tone my body

I harden my fat

Yes, this blog is an advertisement for my new gift book. I’m the author of “Laughing in the Rain – Self Care for the Storms of Life” and the new “Boomer Haiku, and More Random Silliness.”  It seems that as I age, I am also more bold about shameless promotion!

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